The PATIO: How We Tell the Men from the Boys
The PATIO was visited by a young, well-groomed, buff, if a bit short, Berkeley student last evening. He wanted to use the bathroom. I said no, and it (as always) wasn’t good enough. The debate started…
“I really gotta go.”
“Not here, you don’t.”
“I’ll buy something.”
“Okay, so come around to the counter.””But I really gotta go!”
“Not in this bathroom, you won’t.”
Etcetera.
About half an hour later he came back. He came back to tell me that he wasn’t like those bums in People’s Park, and that he would have bought something. I told him that he was no better than the Park’s inhabitants, and that if we shut the bathroom door to them, we also have to shut the door to him. He then went on to express grave dissatisfaction about my attitude, and that’s what I’m writing about.
When you’re young, the world revolves around you. When you’re hungry, everyone knows about it. When you’re thirsty, everyone knows about it. When you need to pee, everyone knows about it. Wah, Wah, Wah! Me! Me! Me! So, when you simply can’t take no for an answer, preferring to complain instead, you’re making yourself the center of the universe. And when you come back to say you’re better than the bums in the Park, you’re the center of the universe again. And, when you lecture me on my attitude towards you, you’re the center of the universe again.
Grow up, children, because the adults are getting impatient with you and want you to begin to act like you are not the center of the universe. (And you cosmologists can grow up, too, when you’re tempted to say that we are all the centers of the universe. Don’t be thick.)
“I really gotta go.”
“Not here, you don’t.”
“I’ll buy something.”
“Okay, so come around to the counter.””But I really gotta go!”
“Not in this bathroom, you won’t.”
Etcetera.
About half an hour later he came back. He came back to tell me that he wasn’t like those bums in People’s Park, and that he would have bought something. I told him that he was no better than the Park’s inhabitants, and that if we shut the bathroom door to them, we also have to shut the door to him. He then went on to express grave dissatisfaction about my attitude, and that’s what I’m writing about.
When you’re young, the world revolves around you. When you’re hungry, everyone knows about it. When you’re thirsty, everyone knows about it. When you need to pee, everyone knows about it. Wah, Wah, Wah! Me! Me! Me! So, when you simply can’t take no for an answer, preferring to complain instead, you’re making yourself the center of the universe. And when you come back to say you’re better than the bums in the Park, you’re the center of the universe again. And, when you lecture me on my attitude towards you, you’re the center of the universe again.
Grow up, children, because the adults are getting impatient with you and want you to begin to act like you are not the center of the universe. (And you cosmologists can grow up, too, when you’re tempted to say that we are all the centers of the universe. Don’t be thick.)
posted by Tyrone @ 4:28 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
you sound like a "grumpy old man".
you were young once, that is if your old brain allows you to remember........
Listen here, anonymous, I actually grew up in Pittsburgh with Tyrone and I will defend his right to be a "grumpy old man" on this account. Tyrone is only presenting you youngsters out there with a cautionary demonstration of how you can end up if you don't quit contemplating your navels because it appears to you to be the center of the universe. Now piss off and go do some good works for your fellow man.
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