Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Marginalized Christians in America

What sort of statement does it make that so many born-again Christians see themselves as being marginalized. Marginalized is usually a word those who use it reserve for people who are so different that fitting in becomes a serious problem. A marginalized person is an adult who is illiterate and can’t even fill out the simplest form, or a woman who has a serious personality disorder but lives on the street, or a drunken Hassidic rabbi screaming in Yiddish on the 18th green of St. Andrews while holding a hockey stick and trying to drive a chipmunk down the fairway. Yes, I think that describes marginalized. So, how the hell do Christians see themselves as marginalized people in the United [Christian] States of America?

Is there one state in the country where they do not represent the majority of the population, with respect to one Christian flavor or another? Do they not also control governments from the local school board to the White House in very real ways? And don’t their biggest modernist churches rival the great cathedrals of Christendom when priests were the only means to salvation? And aren’t their numbers growing significantly with every passing day, worldwide?

And don’t many of them treat as literal the words of the St. James Bible, which is a document known by scholars to be rife with inaccuracies and exclusive of many other competing gospels? And aren’t they silly for letting televangelists lead them toward salvation based upon the size or regularity of a contribution, and for believing that the prayers from a total stranger who asks for money in return are likely to help? And why do they home school their children when half of them grow up to be either secular or otherwise horrible. Oh, I guess I’m beginning to understand. These born-again types are pretty gullible and ridiculous and, as such, maybe a little marginalized. But being gullible is not the big answer to their marginalization, no sir.

The real answer is that they are a religion of martyrs, just like Muslims. Somehow, things just don’t ring true in a Christian life unless there is an opportunity to believe that you are the object of persecution. When Muslims feel persecuted look at how they behave. More martyrs than you can find heavenly virgins for! Same with Christians! Oh they’re not waiting for heavenly virgins to screw. In fact, that’s part of what makes Christians “good” and Muslims “bad” in their eyes. No, no Christian would want virgins. All Christians want is to be treated like gods in heaven. Tell me which is the greater sacrilege: a Muslim wanting to live like a king in heaven, or a Christian wanting to live like a god there. I’d think number two, myself, but then I think it’s all so silly. If you don’t think I’m right about martyrdom, just look at Mel Gibson’s filmography. He hasn’t suffered under Pontius Pilate, but he made Jim Caveziel do it while he watched. Mel, himself, certainly has suffered under Longshanks, and at the hands of South Efricans, and as a cheap but ballsy crook in Payback. He’s also been deformed, and Mad, which are also conditions of marginalization. Yep, that’s a marginalized Christian life in a nutshell, and I think it’s time they all grew up and took some personal responsibility for the shitpile we’re living in. You to, Mel, ya creep.


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